After the Thin Man

After the Thin Man- 1936, Directed by W.S. Van Dyke II, Starring William Powell, Myrna Loy, Elissa Landi and James Stewart

He says- Delightful second entry in the series finds the urbane Charleses in San Francisco and, when not inordinately inebriated, investigating murder charges brought against Loy's unstable cousin (Landi).  Slightly overlong, but first rate with a truly surprising culprit.  Also shown in computer-colored version.  3 and a half stars

I say-  I really am not liking this series of movies.  Seemed like they were fun many many years ago, but now they're just EXTREMELY dated.  UGH.  1 star

The Crying Game

  

The Crying Game- 1992, Directed by Neil Jordan, starring Stephen Rea, Miranda Richardson, Jaye Davidson, and Forest Whitaker

He says-  Strikingly original and adult story with Rea as an IRA volunteer who helps capture a British soldier (Whitaker) only to befriend him and later become involved with his lover.  What begins as a thriller unexpectedly turns into a poignant and ironic love story, with plot twists that deepen the film's almost dreamlike power.  Stunningly acted by Rea, Richardson, and Whitaker, with an amazing debut by Davidson, as Dil.  A unique, seductive film that writer/director Jordan pulls off with poetic ease; he earned an oscar for his screenplay.  3 and a half stars

I say-  Everyone knows the twist of this movie (it's one of the least guarded secrets in film), however, it's still entertaining.  However, if I had not known the twist I would have figured it out in 2 seconds.  Waaaaay too obvious.  Good movie, but the whole thing is built around a surprise ending which never really works. (well, maybe 20 years ago it did).  2 stars

Phantoms

 

Phantoms- 1998, Directed by Joe Chappelle, Starring Peter O'Toole, Rose McGowan, Liev Schreiber, and Ben Affleck

He says-  Sisters are frightened to find a Rocky Mountain town totally deserted, except for a few dead bodies; sheriff Affleck shows up to help, followed by scientist O'Toole.  The answer is a mysterious underground monster from the beginning of time: intelligent, deadly, and amorphus.  Not-bad thriller with good perfromances, astute use of locations, and some suspenseful scenes.  Adapted from his own novel by Dean R. Koontz.  Aka Dean Koontz's Phantoms.  2 and a half stars

I say- Points for being in Colorado and making use of the scenery.  Good movie, and the end ruins it.  The ending blew, and Ben Affleck at his age then, was very hard to believe as a sheriff.    Peter O'Toole was good.  2 stars

The Thin Man

So my next movie is After the Thin Man, so it looks like I need to do all of them in a row

 

The Thin Man- 1934, Directed by W.S. Van Dyke, starring William Powell, Myrna Loy, and Cesar Romero

He says-  Nick and Nora investigate the disappearance of an inventor in this classic blend of laughs and suspense which marked the first pairing of what was to become one of the movies' great romantic teams.  Shot in just two weeks by director Woody "One Shot" Van Dyke and cinematographer James Wong Howe,  this has gone on to become the sophisticated comedy-mystery par excellence,  inspiring five sequels as well as countless imitations.  Francis Goodrich and Albert Hackett adapted Dashielle Hammet's novel.  4 stars

I say- Great writing, but still felt very old-timey.  Completely watchable, and I suspect that an inevitable remake will come sooner rather than later.  Nick has a major alcohol problem that if this movie was made today, would be considered unlikable.  2 1/2 stars

David and Goliath

David and Goliath- 1960, Directed by Richard Pottier, starring Orson Welles

He says-  Juvenile spectacle based on biblical tale, with wooden script, bad acting, Welles as hefty King Saul.  2 stars

I say-  He didn't have much to say about this one now did he?  Goliath was cool and that's about it.  1/2 star

After the Sunset

Netflix doesn't have After the Rehearsal, so

After the Sunset- 2004, Directed by Brett Ratner, Starring Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson, and Don Cheadle

He says-  Master thief Bronson and sexy accomplice Hayek escape to a sun-drenched paradise after pulling one final diamond heist, but FBI agent Harrelson (who's been thwarted by Brosnan before) tracks them down, seeking retribution- and hoping to prevent another theft.  Aspires to be To Catch a Thief, but can't come close; attractive cast and scenery doesn't generate enough heat.  2 stars

I say-  This movie wanted to be cooler than it actually was.  Slow, and was a ripoff of many other movies, and wanted to be a Tarantino style movie.  Salma Hayek is too old to be playing sexy.   1 star

White Chicks

 

White Chicks-2004, Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans, starring Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Terry Crews

He says-  Two male, maverick FBI agents go deep undercover, disguised as air-headed twin sisters, to flush out a criminal.  They're black but the girls are white, and that's the central joke.  Logic aside (and it certainly is), this heavy-handed comedy is a fragile excuse for the Wayans brothers to do a series of broad, silly riffs, poking fun at stereotypical white people.  Unrated version runs 7 minutes longer.  2 stars

I say-  The joke got old quick.  You can't have a white person playing a black guy, because that would be racist.  Not a great movie by any stretch, funny in a couple places, but mainly terrible.  1 star

After the Fox

After the Fox- 1966, Directed by Vittorio De Sica, starring Peter Sellers and Victor Mature

He says-  Not always successful comedy of Italian con man Sellers, who poses as a movie director.  A must-see for Mature's performance as a fading romantic star with tremendous ego.  Script by Neil Simon.  2 and a half stars

I say-  The theme song of this movie rocks.  Funny, but really kind of runs out of steam when the Fox becomes a director.  Good performances, but not worth a whole film.  1 and a half stars

Pinocchio

Pinocchio- 2002, Directed by Roberto Benigni, starring Roberto Benigni

He says-  A carved wooden puppet comes to life as a mischievous boy who can't resist temptation of any kind.  Benigni's interpretation of the beloved 1885 story by Carlo Collodi emerges as a test of one's tolerance for the bombastic comic actor.  This was a big hit in Italy...but then, so was Mussolini.  U.S.  version was cut to 100m, and dubbed with Breckin Meyer (as Benigni) and a host of stars (Glenn Close, Queen Latifah, Eddie Griffin, Cheech Marin, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Regis Philbin, James Belushi, Topher Grace, David Suchet).  Italian title: The Adventures of Pinocchio.  1 and a half stars

I say-  This is the first time I've ever heard Maltin compare a movie to the likes of an evil dictator.  Not sure what he was thinking there.  I hated this one.  Sets were nice, but the dubbing was so bad, and watching a 50-something year old man running around as a 6 year old became a thorn in my side for a couple hours.  Screw this one.  1/2 star

After Midnight

Netflix doesn't have After Life, and I've already reviewed After.Life, so now

After Midnight- 1989, Directed by Ken Wheat, starring nobody

He says-  Four coeds take turns telling the scariest story they know in this weak and predictable horror anthology....with a high violence quotient.  This got limited theatrical release before heading to videoland.  1 and a half stars

I say-  Terrible horror movie.  Started with a strong intro, and quickly became boring.  I wish I could get a good horror movie soon.  BOMB

After Hours

Netflix currently doesn't have Afterglow, so I move on to:

After Hours- 1985, Directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Griffin Dunne, Rosanna Arquette, Thomas Chong, Catherine O'Hara, Cheech Marin, Bronson Pinchot

He says- Ordinary guy goes through a series of bizarre experiences during one incredible night in N.Y.C.  How much you enjoy this comic nightmare will depend on how closely you identify with Dunne--the only normal person in the picture!  2 and a half stars

I say-  This was not a very good movie.  Good acting and cast, and Scorsese is a great director, but not this turkey.  Trying too hard to make a Risky Business type movie without being as great.  1 star

Don Juan DeMarco

 

Don Juan DeMarco-1995, Directed by Jeremy Leven, Starring Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando, and Faye Dunaway

Leonard says-  Psychotherapist on the verge of retirement becomes entranced with a new patient, a fervent young man who believes he is the world's greatest lover.  Fanciful story (by director Leven) is made compulsively watchable by its stars: Brando, compelling as ever, Depp, hypnotically believable, and Dunaway, a delightful match for Brando, as his wife.  Ill-fated Tejano singer Selena appears in the opening scene.  3 stars

I say-  Absolutely loved this one.  Magical, greatly acted, completely compelling, you need to see this movie.  Johnny Depp is amazing, and it's a surprise that no Oscars were given for any part of this movie.  Wonderful.  4 stars

Trial and Error

Trial and Error-1997, Directed by Jonathan Lynn, starring Kramer, Jeff Daniels, Charlize Theron, Rip Torn, Alexandra Wentworth, and Stiffler's Mom

Malt says- When button-down lawyer Daniels can't appear in court (because of a bachelor party hangover), his best friend, wannabe actor Richards, tries to help by taking his place...but when the case is ordered to proceed, Richards has to keep up the ruse.  Smart, funny farce with terrific performances by the two leads and laugh-out-loud situations; Theron is adorable as the young woman who catches Daniels' eye- even though he's about to marry the boss' daughter.  3 stars

I say-  This was funnier now than I remembered it being when I was 14.  Totally watchable, not laugh out loud funny to me, but I was smiling.  Good afternoon movie when you don't want anything heavy.  2 and a half stars

Spellbound

Spellbound- 2003, Directed by Jeffrey Blitz

He says-  Terrific documentary that follows eight very different young competitors who participate in the 1999 National Spelling Bee.  An enormously entertaining and often pointed examination of ideas and success and the American dream, with the final spelling duel as riveting as anything found in a fiction film.  3 and a half stars

I say-  This was a good documentary.  Takes a little while to get going, and I only was interested in half the kids (some of them were so annoying I wanted them to leave my screen), but really interesting on how much pressure is on these kids.  3 stars

The Fog of War

 

The Fog of War-2003, Directed by Errol Morris

He says-  Unique, memorable documentary about the life of Robert S. McNamara, the controversial former secretary of defense who played a pivotal role during the Vietnam War.  Director Morris explores myriad political, social, and moral issues that resonate even more tellingly today, and McNamara--85 when the film was made--remains an outspoken and forceful personality who refuses to provide any easy answers about the history he helped to shape.  An emotional powerhouse for anyone who lived through the era depicted here so vividly.  Oscar winner for Best Documentary Feature.  Film carries the subtitle Eleven Lessons From the Life of Robert S. McNamara.  3 and a half stars

I say-  This documentary, though well made, provided subject matter that I didn't find interesting in the least.  1 star

After Dark, My Sweet

 

After Dark, My Sweet-1990, Directed by James Foley, Starring Jason Patric, Rachel Ward, and Bruce Dern

He says-  Piquant modern-day film noir based on a Jim Thompson novel, about a drifter who becomes involved with a beautiful but troubled woman and her criminally scheming friend.  Interesting at first, but eventually you catch on that it's heading nowhere--10 miles per hour, at that.  Both Patric and Dern are excellent.  2 and a half stars

I say-  UGH.  I have no idea how this movie got greenlit.  Such a slow, drawn out, long movie with pretentious acting and really overly artsy shots.  AVOID.  BOMB

Cool As Ice

Cool As Ice- 1991, Directed by David Kellogg, starring Vanilla Ice, Michael Gross, and Naomi Campbell

He says-  The Sealtest man's rap numbers frame seemingly unreleasable "wandering cyclist" yarn about a numbskull who manages to romance the town's SAT standard-bearer.  Oh, did we mention that her father is in the government's witness relocation program?  Ice's parlance ("Drop that zero/get with the hero") in his first starring role does not rekindle fond memories of Ronald Colman.  BOMB

I say-  This movie is awesome for all the wrong reasons.  It's a standard early '90's flick, complete with terrible dancing, lame jokes, and motorcycles that can leap fences without ramps.  The dialogue in this movie is so bad, it's hard to remember that Vanilla is being COMPLETELY SERIOUS.  A great, stupid time movie, and people are going to hate me because I enjoyed this much more that An Affair to Remember, so I'm giving it 3 stars

Female Perversions

Female Perversions- 1997, Directed by Susan Streitfeld, Starring Tilda Swinton

He says-  Story of highly successful lawyer (Swinton), in line for a judgeship, who is consumed by self-doubt.  She swings both ways sexually, and repeatedly puts her reputation at risk.  That her Ph.D. candidate sister is a shoplifter is testimony to their highly dysfunctional upbringing.  Disjointed, pretentious film with a title more titillating than the film itself.  2 stars

I say-  Snooze.  BOMB

Africa- Texas Style

Africa- Texas Style- 1967, Directed by Andrew Marton, starring Hugh O'Brian, John Mills, and Nigel Green

He says-  Feature (which later spun off a TV series, Cowboy in Africa) doesn't offer much excitement, with O'Brian helping Mills preserve wild game in the dark continent.  Hayley Mills has a cameo.  2 and a half stars

I say-  This was terrible.  Cowboys should not be in Africa.  Really slow, and it feels like a tv show episode.  BOMB

Africa Screams

 

Africa Screams-  1949, Directed by Charles Barton, Starring Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Shemp Howard, and Joe Besser

He says-  A&C go on safari in this funny outing full of wheezy but often hilarious gags and routines.  Also shown in computer-colored version.  3 stars

I say--Dear God, I thought I was done with Abbott and Costello!  UGH!  AND HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE POSTER AND THE INCREDIBLY RACIST TRIBESMAN COOKING ABBOTT AND COSTELLO IN THE POSTER!!!!!!!  That's not cool at all.  But it was a different time, so I guess that's the only excuse they have.  This movie was hard to watch.  Not that it was bad, but the transfer was so awful that it was painful to watch.  A couple funny gags.  Not the worst Abbott and Costello movie.  1 and a half stars