The Adventures of Robin Hood

 

The Adventures of Robin Hood- 1938, directed by Michael Curtiz, starring Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone, and Alan Hale

He says-  Dashing Flynn in the definitive swashbuckler, winning hand of de Havilland (never lovelier as Maid Marian), following evil prince Rains, dueling wicked Rathbone.  Erich Wolfgang Korngold's outstanding score earned an Oscar, as did the art direction and editing.  Scripted by Norman Reilly Raine and Seton I. Miller.  Arguably Flynn's greatest role.  4 stars.

I say-  This must have been great at the time.  However, now I've seen the Robin Hood story many times (most recently with Russell Crowe) and I knew exactly what was going to happen.  Rather cheesy with costumes and mugging, but still fun.  2 and a half stars.

Love Stinks

 

Love Stinks- 1999, directed by Jeff Franklin, starring French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson, Bill Bellamy, Tyra Banks, and Jason Bateman

He says-  Love is not the only thing that stinks in this barely funny (and mean-spirited) tale of a television comedy writer (Stewart) who becomes romantically involved with a sociopathic beauty-from-hell (Wilson).  Plays like a one-note, R-rated TV sitcom episode.  One and a half stars.

I say-  It feels like a tv episode because the director was Jeff Franklin, the guy who produced Full House.  I couldn't figure out who this movie was marketed to.  It feels like a chick flick, but the girls in this movie are so unlikable that my wife couldn't sympathize with them.  Anyway, I would pass on this.  Other than a couple funny parts, there's not much here.  1 star.

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

 

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert- 1994, directed by Stephan Elliot, starring Terrence Stamp, Guy Pearce, and Hugo Weaving

He says-  Cheerfully outrageous comedy about three flamboyant lip-sync performers--two drag queens and a transsexual--who journey to a remote desert gig on a converted schoolbus named Priscilla. Diverting, if you can get past the bitchy banter, and anchored by Stamp as the transsexual.  A must for ABBA fans.  Oscar winner for Costume Design.  Later a stage musical.  3 stars.

I say-  I don't get the hoopla around this movie.  I know that a lot of people feel that this is the new Rocky Horror, but it doesn't have the same fun.  In some spots, frankly, it's really boring.  The costumes are great, as is the make-up, but other than a few funny parts, I found myself uninterested.  1 star

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

 

The Adventures of Pluto Nash- 2002, directed by Ron Underwood, starring Eddie Murphy, Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson, Jay Mohr, Pam Grier, Luis Guzman, Peter Boyle, and John Cleese

He says-  Murphy sleepwalks through this dumb comedy as a nightclub owner on a moon colony in the year 2087 who tries to prevent a Mafia-style kingpin from turning his establishment into a gambling casino.  Expensive misfire became Murphy's biggest box-office bomb, earning comparisons with Howard the Duck and Ishtar.  Alec Baldwin appears unbilled.  1 and a half stars.

I say- I'm trying to figure out why Alec Baldwin is in this movie.  There is no point to his character.  I'm also trying to figure out why Leonard gave this a star and a half.  I'm not trying to figure out why this is the biggest bomb ever, losing 95 million dollars.  And I'm also not trying to figure out why this movie sat on the shelf for 2 years.   BOMB

The Adventures of Pinocchio

 

The Adventures of Pinocchio-1996, directed by Steve Barron and starring Martin Landau, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Udo Kier, and Rob Schneider

He says-  Appealing live-action rendition of the Collodi fable about a wood-carver who creates the magical, mischievous marionette Pinocchio...who wants only to be a real boy.  Some variations from the Disney version, but gentle of spirit and enjoyable throughout.  Only adults are likely to question the variety of accents (American, British, German, Italian) in a story supposedly set in Italy.  Followed by a direct-to-video sequel.  3 stars.

I say- What a bizarre version of the story!  First off, the worst cgi award in the world goes to the Cricket, who is completely out of focus and blurry in many shots.  Secondly, the puppet is plain creepy.  The sets are amazing, but the rest of the movie seems unnecessary.  1/2 of a star.

Zapped!

Zapped!-1982, directed by Rober J. Rosenthal, starring Scott Baio, Willie Aames, and Heather Thomas

He says- Attractive cast is wasted in this stupid spoof of Carrie, in which Baio acquires telekinetic powers...which he's most anxious to use in undressing Thomas (or rather, her stand-in).  Followed by a sequel.  One and a half stars.

I say- what a stupid movie.  I mean seriously, Scott Baio is likable and that's about it.  Oh, and I liked Willie Aames acting pervertedly towards high school students.  But that's about it.  Maltin doesn't even review the sequel, which I will happily not be watching.  1 star.

Top Dog

 

Top Dog-1995, directed by Aaron Norris, starring Chuck Norris and a dog

He says-  When terrorists threaten to blow up San Diego, heroic cop Norris is forced to collaborate with a canine partner who seems to outsmart him every step of the way.  Not much plot here, and needless to say, the dog steals the show.  1 and a half stars.

I say-  This movie is as bad as the poster looks.  I like Chuck Norris (for there is only a fist beneath his beard), but this was worse than Schwarzenegger's ventures into kid films.  BOMB