The Apple

So some movies show up in my Netflix instant queue that aren't in order of the book.  However, because this is such a daunting task, I'm going to break order once in a while so I can speed through this in less than 50 years!

The Apple-1980, starring Catherine Mary Stewart and Allan Love.

Leonard says- Futuristic musical  set in 1994, when a young couple's entry in songwriting contest in sabotaged by devilish Mr. Boogalow.  As bad as it sounds---maybe worse---but now celebrated for it's awfulness.  BOMB

I say--Maltin is wrong.  This movie is awesome!  Really campy and great music as well.  Unintentionally funny, and hysterically serious.  Our first disagreement.  3 stars.

Abbott and Costello go to Mars

Abbott and Costello go to Mars-1953, starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

Maltin says-Unimaginative vehicle has Bud and Lou sailing through space with escaped gangsters, landing on Venus, a planet populated by scantily clad women.  Look quickly for Anita Ekberg.  One and a half stars.

I say-  They don't even go to Mars!!!!  How can you title a movie "goes to Mars," without going to Mars? Unfunny paycheck movie.  1 star.

Lost in Alaska

Well, 2 movies came on this disc, so figured might as well break order just so I can get this one out of the way.

Lost in Alaska-1952, starring Bud Abbot and Lou Costello

Maltin says- Unremarkable slapstick set in 1890s, with A&C off to the wilds to help a friend but doing more hindering.  One and a half stars.

I say- Terrible. A&C seem like they they don't even want to be in the movie.  Painfully unfunny.  They're better than this.  This sucks.  BOMB

Abbott and Costello in Hollywood

So we move our way past Abandon Ship because it doesn't exist yet on Netflix, and.......CRAP.  Here's at least 10 Abbott and Costello movies in a row.  I didn't really think that I'd be hitting massive series' like this, but here we go.

Abbot and Costello in Hollywood-1945, starring Bud Abbot and Lou Costello, appearance by Lucille Ball

Maltin says-  Uneven comedy with A&C as barber and porter in Tinseltown.  A few peeks behind the scenes with Rags Ragland, Lucille Ball, Preston Foster, Butch Jenkins, and director Robert Z. Leonard. 

I say- Funny spots with out of place musical numbers makes this a really odd movie.  Some gags work well in a predictable way.  2 stars.

The Abandoned (2007)

So Netflix does not have the 1949 movie "The Abandoned", so we move on to this gem of a picture.

The Abandoned-2007, Anastasia Hille

Maltin says-American adoptee gets trapped in an endless labyrinth of horror when, after receiving a mysterious invitation, she returns to Russia to learn more about her roots.  In her dank, oppressively creepy childhood home, she must confront various evil forces, a murderous clone, and the disturbing secrets of her past.  Anybody looking for a coherent narrative will find this throwback to Euro-horror films of the '70s maddening.  Fails to build fear and tension, but Cerda fills the screen with enough gorgeous, chilling imagery to satisfy fans of nonlinear horror fare.  2 and a half stars.

I say- I predicted the whole movie within 30 minutes.  Good gore scenes save this from being a disaster.  In Russia, you haunt ghosts!  2 stars.

Abandon

Hey look how quick I'm flying through this!  Already through the aa section, and I only had to go through one step.

Abandon-2002, Katie Homes, Benjamin Bratt

Maltin says-Police detective with a checkered past is assigned to investigate the disappearance of a college boy but finds himself attracted to the missing student's girlfriend. Murky whodunit with paranormal ingredients that, annoyingly, don't pay off.  Directing debut for the Oscar winning screenwriter of Traffic. 2 stars

I say-What a mess this film is.  Dull, lifeless movie with Mrs. Scientology.  Maltin sums it up perfectly. Wish I didn't finish it.  One star

Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick

Ok, here we go! So the first movie in the book is...."Aaron Loves Angela." *Checks Netflix* Apparently this movie doesn't exist on dvd or streaming yet, so I'll come back to that when it comes out. Not going to download the torrent and possibly catch a virus.

Aaron Slick from Punkin Crick-1952, color
Starring Dinah Shore, Alan Young, and Robert Merrill

Leonard says "Innocuous musical with unmemorable score." 2 stars.

I say:
Dated musical about a farm girl who wants to go to the big city but gets mixed up in crime. Very milquetoast.   1 star.