Across the Tracks

 

Across the Tracks-1991, starring Rick Schroeder and Brad Pitt

Maltin says- Reasonably compelling teen sports drama with Schroeder returning from reform school stint to compete on high school track team and outperforming straight-A track star brother (Pitt).  Realistic portrayal of teen problems and aspirations make this best suited for young people, although the R rating (for normal raunchy high school language) may make this film inaccessible to its key audience.  2 and a half stars.

I say- This has to be the most unintentionally hysterical movie ever.  First off, this movie does not deal with realistic high school problems.  The drug dealer looks like Stifler from American Pie.  The dialogue is absurd, Brad Pitt is billed second, and the clothes are horrendous.  Random windsurfers enter shots.  Lines such as "Let's do it to it," and "stomp out that fire," are said in COMPLETE seriousness.  Watch this drunk, as it's the worst movie ever made and the best movie ever made.  3 and a half stars.

The Alphabet Killer

The Alphabet Killer-2008, starring Eliza Dushku, Cary Elwes, Timothy Hutton, and Michael Ironside

He says- A young girl is raped and strangled, and Rochester, N.Y., police detective Dushku, who has all sorts of psychological issues, becomes obsessed with solving the case.  By-the-letters thriller poses one burning question: Who let this woman on the police force?  Loosely based on a series of murders that took place in Rochester in the 1970s.  Scripted by Malloy, who plays officer Stephen Harper.  2 stars.

I say- I thought the same thing that Maltin thought!  Eliza is constantly hallucinating, which would make me, if I was police chief, let her go immediately!  Dear God!  Man, this thing looks like it was shot on a cheap camera and Cary Elwes belongs in better movies.  A half of a star.

Acros the Pacific

Across the Pacific-1942, starring Humphrey Bogart, Mary Astor, and Sydney Greenstreet

Malty says-Three Maltese Falcon leads reteamed for enjoyable WW2 adventure.  Bogart trails spies to Panama, has running battle of wits with Greenstreet, white romancing enticing Astor.  Despite title, the movie never gets to the pacific, much less across it.  Also shown in computer-colored version.  2 and a half stars.

I say- Who wants to watch a racist movie???  The comments made toward the Japanese really show the age of this movie.  Anyway, I was bored with this one.  I've yet to see the Maltese Falcon, but I have heard of it.  I feel that maybe they were trying to strike gold twice and the producers (and actors) failed miserably.  BOMB

After.Life

 

After.Life-2010, starring Liam Neeson, Christina Ricci, Christina Ricci's breasts, and Justin Long

Maltin says- In this dreary psychological horror tale, a young woman seems to be hovering between life and death as she carries on conversations with a sinister undertaker who may have other plans for her.  Or not.  What Neeson is doing in this low-rent mumbo jumbo is a bigger mystery than anything in the script.  Nothing here makes any sense, with a premise that wouldn't hold up as a half-hour Twilight Zone episode, much less an overlong, indulgent feature film that's as pretentious as its.title.  One and a half stars.

I say- I actually was entertained by this one.  Liam Neeson did creepy really well.  And Christina Ricci  is naked for most of the movie, so I'm sure somebody out there would be happy with that.  The movie has you guessing until the end, and then even a little after.  I recommend this as a late night rental if you're in the mood for something different.  2 and a half stars.

The Haunting in Connecticut

The Haunting in Connecticut-2009, starring Virginia Madsen and Amanda Crew

He says-  Creaky horror picture show, purportedly based on fact, about a family that learns the hard way why they got such a great deal on a rental property with "a bit of history."  Long on spooky atmosphere, short on drama.  There's nothing here you haven't seen done better, and scarier, in other haunted house dramas.  1 and a half stars.

I say- Did this really need to be made?  Apparently it was based on a Discovery Channel special.  They then decided to add effects, add professional actors, and make it seem as though this was entirely true.  That said, I have not seen the Discovery Channel special on this house.  I felt that I had seen this movie a million times, and that the number one scare tactic in this movie was the use of loud trumpets.  BOMB

Across the Bridge

Across the Bridge-1957 British, starring Rod Steiger

He says-Smug German business magnate flees his home base in England when Scotland Yard investigates his corrupt dealings.  His only hope is to get to Mexico through the U.S., but en route he switches identities with a fellow train passenger.  Engrossing yarn based on a Graham Greene novella.  Shot mostly in Spain.  Later remade as Double Take.  3 stars.

I say-  Meh.  Rod Steiger was good, and the pacing was nice, but I wasn't really intrigued by the movie as a whole.  Might not be a bad insomnia cure.  1 star.

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams

Just waiting for the next one to come in...

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams-1990, a bunch of Japanese actors and a little bit of Martin Scorsese.

He says- Eight vignettes- increasingly apocalyptic--as "dreamt" by an 80-year-old widely regarded as the greatest living filmmaker of the era.  Results vary in quality, though any three viewers are likely to rate the episodes in a widely shuffled order.  At least one-mountain climbers caught in an all-consuming blizzard- is vintage "K."  Scorsese portrays Van Gogh in one segment.  (Do you detect any Burt Lancaster in his speech patterns?)  3 stars.

I say- Stunningly visual film to look at, extremely boring plot.  Not really so much of a plot, but more of a collection of short stories talking about humanity's relationship with the environment.  If you're in the mood to look at a living painting, watch this one, however, if you want a movie, look elsewhere.  2 stars.