School For Scoundrels

School For Scoundrels- 2006,  Directed by Todd Phillips, starring Billy Bob Thornton, Jon Heder, Jacinda Barrett, Michael Clark Duncan, Luis Guzman, Ben Stiller, David Cross, Horatio Sanz, and Sarah Silverman

He says-  Nerdy guy who lets people step all over him is recruited by a mysterious entrepreneur who runs a class for worms in need of turning.  But our would-be hero isn't prepared for his "teacher" to start playing dirty tricks on him.  Most contemporary comedies are too crude for our taste, but this one is terminally bland and never takes off as it repeatedly promises to do.  Remake of the 1960 British comedy.  Unrated version runs 107 minutes.  2 stars.

I say-  It's movies like this and reviews that Maltin does that makes me wonder his system.  He says it's bland but gives it 2 stars.  And this movie did suck.  Slightly better than the original, but still boring.  Would have been better if they had the original actor signed on, Bill Murray, playing the Billy Bob Thornton character.  1 star.

School For Scoundrels

School For Scoundrels- 1960, Directed by Robert Hamer, starring Ian Carmichael and Terry-Thomas

He says-  Wimpy Carmichael, about to lose the girl of his dreams to pushy Thomas, attends the title institute, where he learns "one-upmanship" and "gamesmanship."  Clever, funny, veddy British satire.  Full title on-screen is School for Scoundrels or How to Win Without Actually Cheating.  Remade in 2006.  3 stars

I say-  Bleh.  I hate British humor.  I thought the beginning was good, and that was about it.  Now it's time to watch the remake and see if it's any better.  BOMB

Heat

Heat- 1987, directed by R.M. Richards, starring Burt Reynolds and Peter MacNicol

He says-  Dim, dingy, scattershot film (written by William Goldman, of all people) about a Las Vegas tough, whose exact livelihood is never defined, but who knows how to handle the low-lifes--and teaches "protege" MacNicol all he knows.  So what?  BOMB

I say-  Good.  I thought I missed something in not knowing exactly what Burt Reynolds did for a living.  This was a really dumb movie.  It felt like I was watching a tv show episode a la Miami Vice.  Just terrible.  Burt thinks he's tough, but I laughed at him the whole way.  BOMB

Adventures of Robinson Crusoe

 

Adventures of Robinson Crusoe- 1952, Directed by Luis Bunuel, Starring Dan O'Herlihy

He said-  Colorful, entertaining adaptation of Daniel Defoe's classic story about a resourceful shipwreck victim, with some distinctive Bunuel touches; vivid performance by O'Herilhy.  Screenplay by Philip Ansell Roll (Hugo Butler) and Bunuel.  Excellent music score by Anthony Collins.  Main title on film is Robinson Crusoe.  3 and a half stars.

I say-  This is really a hard review to do.  The dvd transfer was terrible, with scenes skipping and sound going in and out.  I could tell it was good, but I can't tell how good it was.  Maybe in years they'll restore it properly.  2 stars to keep it neutral.

Mad Monster Party?

Mad Monster Party?- 1967, Directed by Jules Bass, voices of Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller

He says- Famous monsters are brought together by Baro n von Frankenstein (voice of Karloff), who wants to announce his retirement, in this silly animated kiddie feature from Rankin/Bass.  2 stars.

I say-  First, let me say I LOVE Rankin/Bass.  My favorite Christmas special is The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, which they did.  However, this one isn't as magical.  Just seemed as though they relied on the monsters rather than the creativity they normally exhibit.  I wish this style of stop-motion animation would come back.  Might be great for young kids at Halloween.  1 and a half stars.

The Water Babies

The Water Babies- 1978, directed by Lionel Jeffries, starring a combination of stereotypical racist sea creatures

He says- Combination live-action and animated film for children, framing its fairy-tale undersea adventure with virtually unrelated story and characters in Dickensian London.  Inoffensive for children, but downright boring at times.  Aka Slip Slide Adventure.  2 stars

I say-  I used to watch this movie constantly as a very young child.  The live-action part is unwatchable.  Except for when the kid screams "ow, my bum!"  It takes 45 minutes to get to the cartoon, which is the only part kids will like, and the animation is terrible by today's standards.  The High-Cocalorum song is catchy.  Stereotypical gay seahorse, Scottish crab, French lobster, etc.  2 stars.

Hercules in New York

 

Hercules in New York- 1970, directed by Allan Siedelman, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger

He says-  Hercules journeys to Earth from Mount Olympus and gets mixed up with wrestling promoters-and mobsters- in this lumbering comedy.  Inept, but irresistible for the opportunity to watch a young, badly dubbed Schwarzenegger in his movie debut (his original dialogue was restored for the dvd).  Reissued as hercules-the movie at 82 minutes, and Hercules Goes Bananas at 75 minutes.  1 and a half stars.

I say- this movie is unintentionally hysterical.  I would recommend watching it under the influence, as Hercules wrestling a bear is a sight to see as is Arnold continually announcing that he is Hercules.  I got the version that was dubbed, but was able to watch the scene where he throws the discus in original Arnie English.  2 stars.